Monday, June 2, 2014

End Script

In exactly 35 minutes it will be my 20th birthday. But I do not see it as a time of celebration or happiness. More so a time of sadness, reflection, and depression. A time of transition from my teenaged years (the best years?) into a new era. An era where no one else will be responsible for the cuts and bruises, where ignorance is no longer an excuse for childish plays or teenaged crime. And finally, a time where teenaged love has come to past (one that I’ve never experienced). Oh how I wish to turn back the time. In so many moments have I thought about what I would give to change time, even just for a few minutes. But these thoughts are useless; dwelling on a false hope that one day you may control the essence of progression is pointless and should not be done. This day, this time, this moment that I am in right NOW, defines a historic moment in my life. And as I write and reflect, this moment is all that matters. 11:33pm, 22/09/2013. Hidden away from the other world, enjoying the thrills of this one. Embracing the euphoria of the night… Dusk approaches, and new light Dawns.       

Script 5

A solo night out at shape, one of my favourite places in Perth on a fortnightly Friday night. My intentions for tonight were simple, dance like you’ve never danced before, loose yourself to sounds of drum and bass, forget all your problems, all your stresses that have dominated you during the previous weeks, and let them all go to the chaos where they belong.

Sitting at a booth in shape by myself. I am approached by two beautiful girls. They ask if anyone was occupying the seats in front of me and proceeded to sit down. They seem calm, and not in the slightest bit nervous, almost as if they’ve done this a million times before. A quick introduction (Bianca and the one that I forgot the name of) followed by relaxed exchange of phones and we were behaving like we’ve been close friends for a while. Playing games on each other’s phones while one of them adds herself on snapchat. We talked very little and sort of wallowed away, the kind of wallowing that close friends do after they’ve run out of things to talk about. It wasn’t long before they prepared to leave the booth, but one of them, the blonde one who I had forgotten the name of, hesitated and proceeded to explain why they were leaving. By that point I had necked my drink and was feeling pretty woozy. From that point on everything was a blur, I danced the night away to the glorious sounds of drum and bass (<3) until the club was shut. To my surprise the blonde girl who I had met earlier in the night was there, partying the night away along with a few other fellow survivors (partiers with stamina). I’ve always wondered why she stayed, I mean her friend had left a few hours ago, but she stayed even though she was alone, searching maybe? (What for?) Maybe it wasn’t just to stay with the man she was clinging to at the end of the night, or to use a lame excuse of “I need a place to stay because I don’t have a way home”. I think she wanted to stay because of me. Never admitting it but consistently keeping an eye out for me (I was doing the same for her). I was on the side of her thoughts and her on the side of mine. Hmm, I wonder what could’ve been if I had just had the miniscule courage to talk to her.

(<3) This world is so broken… the people, the way in which we live, how could one live in this world knowing its flaws, its horrible weaknesses. Maybe many don’t. Maybe many don’t know its flaws, its weaknesses. Maybe what’s left on the earth is just a tiny fraction of what could’ve lived. The only thing that matters right now is drum and bass. No one knows who I am or what I do, it’s crazy. I can just sit by and do whatever I want, be whoever I want to be, and I don’t care what other think of me. At this point it is just me, the drum, and the bass. =)